I wouldn't stop reading, I love the series too darn much, but I would sing this...
A long, long time ago
I can still remember how those cookies
Used to make me smile
And I knew if I had my chance
That I could write a good romance
And make those shippers happy for a while
But then Book __ (insert number here) made me shiver
At each chapter's end I quivered
Bad news in the next phrase
I couldn't turn one more page
I can't remember if I cried
When I read about that kiss they tried
But my heart broke, deep down inside
The day all our hopes died
I started singin'
Bye, bye HMS Pumpkin Pie
Rode my broomstick to the Tower
Not a snog was in sight
Them good old knights downed Firewhiskey and rye
Saying, "This'll be the day that I die,
This will be the day that I die."
Did you read between the lines?
Did you have faith in Jo on high
That the canon told you so?
Do you believe in love, not trees?
That it all depends on the little things?
And that your best friend should be there when you come home?
Well, I knew that she's in love with him
I was on the Platform at year's end
A quick peck on the cheek
The meanings run so deep
I was a lonely, teenage reading geek
With an ISP and a romantic streak
Oh, I couldn't help but squee
When I found FA and Portkey
I was singin'
Hello, HMS Pumpkin Pie
Rode my broomstick to boards
And found some people like me
Those good old knights broke out the Firewhiskey
Drank "To Harry and Hermione,
Harry and his 'Mione!"
For many threads we had a riot
Plot bunnies grew fat on a pumpkin diet
Oh, that's how it used to be
When the Pistols sang with the Boy Who Lived
As from a paper he adlibbed
And proposed down on bended knee
For when that boy was lookin' down
That girl, she smiled, removed his frown
The courtroom was adjourned
Love was the verdict heard
And while Hermi studied for a test
Harry distracted her his best
She finally just gave it a rest
And snuck out for some pie
And we were singin'
Hello, HMS Pumpkin Pie
Rode my broomstick to the boards
To find some people like me
Those good old knights broke out the Firewhiskey
Drank "To Harry and Hermione,
Harry and his 'Mione!"
Helter, skelter in a summer swelter
Purple bikinis and an old war shelter
Flyin' ten feet high
And learnin' fast
They finally landed on a beach
In the tropics - they got married, at least
Their best man, on the sidelines
Said, "It's about time!"
Oh, her hair smelled like sweet perfume
As the band picked up a swingin' tune
They both got up to dance
No other pairs stood a chance
And when the bad guys tried to take the field
Those Order members refused to yield
Do you recall what was revealed
The day they Crossed the Line?
We started singin'
Hello, HMS Pumpkin Pie
Rode my broomstick to the boards
To find some people like me
Those good old knights broke out the Firewhiskey
Drank "To Harry and Hermione,
Harry and his 'Mione!"
But there we were, gathered in one place
A whole ship lost in cyberspace
With nothing left to prove us right
So c'mon, Jo be nimble, Jo be quick
Those coming Howlers are quite thick
'Cuz Fire-hair is not Hermione's man
For as I turned to each next page
My hands were clenched in fists of rage
No Weasley in the world
Can steal our Harry's girl
As the profits climbed on out of sight
And the publishers danced into the night
I heard JK laughing with delight
The day all our hopes died
I started singin'
Bye, bye HMS Pumpkin Pie
Rode my broomstick to the Tower
Not a snog was in sight
Them good old knights downed Firewhiskey and rye
Saying, "This'll be the day that I die,
This will be the day that I die."
I met the gal who wrote the rules
And asked her for some happy news
But she just smiled and turned away
And I went down to the sacred store
Where I'd bought the first book, years before
But the man there said there was no printing mistake
And on the 'Net the shippers screamed
The lovers cried, those darn R/Hr-ers dreamed
Angry words were spoken
The keyboards, almost broken
As the couple I'd admired most
The Boy Who Lived and The Girl With Toast
Their love flickered into a ghost
The day all our hopes died
And we were singin'
Bye, bye HMS Pumpkin Pie
Rode my broomstick to the Tower
Not a snog was in sight
Them good old knights downed Firewhiskey and rye
Saying, "This'll be the day that I die,
This will be the day that I die."
Bye, bye HMS Pumpkin Pie
Rode my broomstick to the Tower
Not a snog was in sight
Them good old knights downed Firewhiskey and rye
Saying, "This will be the day that I die."

Off to find fluff to banish these thoughts from my mind,
Joyce