Based off of a thread in the Pre-release HBP forum here, I thought it would be fun to start an Impossibily thread here in the DG forum.

So what I'm asking is, we all know what we WANT to happen in canon with these two young lovebirds. We all know what COULD happen.

But what definitely will not happen, and makes you think "Yeah, right"?


These can be crazy, impossible, or even things you've seen other authors try in their fanfic. Do you remember a story that just made you laugh because it was so OOC or implausable?

Share them here!

What will definately NOT happen to D/G?
Hmmm...

1.Ginny will become an animagus form of a fox and devour Draco in his ferret form.

2. Draco will become flamboyantly gay and parade around in purple leather Isaac Mizrahi underwear singing to the GoGos and George Michael...while Ginny takes him shopping and they gal pal to cafes, broadway musicals, and poetry readings.

3. Ginny and Draco will have alien babies made out of Key Lime Cream Pie Jello Gelitan Brand Pudding.

There's some for now.
<3

Just out of curiosity, is that EVEN A FLAVOR?





Crys



PS I'm pretty sure Draco would never dye his hair pink on Ginny's urging. In fact, I'm sure Ginny wouldn't want Draco's hair pink. There's one thing that'll never happen.

I know it comes in plain old Key Lime....?


I think that Dumbledore will never corner D and G in the Great Hall and assure them they will not graduate from Hogwarts unless they snog in front of the entire school, with Ron and Pansy being forced to watched with spellotape holding their eyelids up. No, that probably will not happen.

And I doubt Draco will demand to be resorted into Hufflepuff to prove to Ginny that, yes by golly, he can be sensitive.

Teehee.


Kristina

Yes.
It's mighty good.
How is that off topic?
It's not a story I read...but it's something that will DEFINATELY not happen...
(Unless J.K. Rowling decideds to do some illegal recreational drugs and write while inebreated...)


Pfft. Draco with pink hair would be pretty nasty...
eww.
I cringe just thinking about it.


I got it downtown with my grandma at some MART place...
It's pretty good...
only it gets that nasty gel thingy pretty quick...
I think it's the cream part.
but it's Green.
Like this...


HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAH HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
A HufflePuff?
That's kinda harsh don't you think?!?!
...

Well, it's not like he'll do it anyway.


Just like Draco wont jump of a buliding hoping Ginny will catch him with her feet while she's doing a handstand at the bottom. Nah, that sort of thing really isn;t JKR's style.



K

Or if Ginny was in an abusive relationship with the Lochness Monster and Draco saves her by uncovering Lochy's true identity which is really Clark Kent in animagus form.

That's what I thought...
He wouldn't even go for Gryff...



Tru...or the fact that Draco will grow a womb and have the giant squid's offspring.

Although Draco and Ginny may very well become detectives and pair up like the Hardy Boys (but with UST!), if that happened - they would never fail to solve a case.


Way to save your post with the word never. -Kristina

I think I read a ###### like that once. kidding!



What are you talking about. That was totally the plotline for my next fic!


Actually, I dont think Ginny will ever leave Draco because she's having an affair with Dobby, who's only whoring himself out so he can afford more socks.

K


Edit: UGGGGH ###### = p o r n o

Yeah well, what Ginny doesn't know is that Winky is having an affair with Dobby AS WELL AS Draco.

She has them all fooled.

I completely Forgot.
hahah


That'd be pretty hott...
Lusty Smutty ######. HAHAHA


That girls been around the block!!!

Just like how Ginny would sell herself to get enough money to ask her parents to marry Draco in a Giant Margarita Suit...

Yesss, Balbraka finds her way into the DG forum.



Well, we know she's definitely not a virgin margarita...


I doubt Draco and Ginny would ever plant a garden together and spend long hours in the afternoon sun discussing the finer ponts of ancient herbology and which flowers look the prettiest in their yard.
And then proceed to realize they picked the wrong bulbs as they erupt into 50 foot taller venus fly traps.
Whom they learn to love and name Fluffy2.

Kristina

Balbrala? Is she a twin sister of Balbraka? I had no idea.
They probably get confused all the time and wear the same outfits.




*snort* *snicker*



*doowop*
Little Yard, Little Yard of Malfloy...OOo OOOO OOooo OOOOOOyeah!

Just like Draco would don a sweater vest made by Molly (with the notorious "D" on the front...) and parade around with the Weasley family singing the Barney Theme Song as the clouds turned to cotton candy dreams, the rivers turned to milk chocolate streams and the road glittered in sugar.

Karly

I read once that Draco gets ginny pregnant during shool and her parents are totally fine with it. Then they get married.



Fixed codes. --Crystal

Hahaha! Hey! I'll have you know that Draco happened to love singing that song as a kid!

I'm sure that's just as likely as him dying his hair red so that he can match Ginny and blend in with the rest of the Weasley's. Plus, it would offer him protection when the brothers come after him. He wouldn't stand out as much. Hahaha

Hahahhahaha.

This is almost as likely as Ginny drawing a darkmark on her arm in magic marker and trying to get chummy with the Slytherins in order to show Draco's she's got what it takes. And borrowing the marker with pure encouragement from Dumbledore.

And Harry seeing how well it works and joining in the fun.


Kristina

Sounds like a fic I read once...

Kinda like when the Malfoy's would eat a full bags of kitty litter and dance with gnomes as the Weasley's communicated with their dead goldfish and fried up mayonasie encrusted apples. All this happening while our Ginny and Draco hung house elves from the tree and drank badger milk at Christmas.

Draco becomes a really sensitive vegetarian after abandoning his dark family he reads a poem called 'i want to die a slow and horrible death' by Ginny and realises she's a kindred spirit. They go and live on a hippy commune in France where they grow organic food and Draco keeps a bunny rabbit called Mr. Fluffy-Tail

Draco decides he doesn't want to become like his father, so he begins to adopt baby house elves and raise them as his own. He even buys them wigs that match his hair color so that they will all match. And when Ginny sees him and his 12 matching house elf children, she will become overjoyed because she has always secretly wanted house elf children. She and Draco get married so he buys red wigs for 6 of the elves and they are all one happy family living in Malfoy manor. Meanwhile, Lucius sees how happy they all are, not realizing that the kids are house elves and decides to be kind to his "grandchildren." Hahahahaha

Wow! I really don't know where that came from!

Random Alert

Ginny feels bad for Draco when he he breaks up with Hermione, kidnaps him, and they go live in an igloo eating bluber nuggets. Draco's father, seeing how happy they are, moves up to the North Pole, and creates a mini mall for muggles and fluffy little seals. Then he divorces his wife, turns into a seal, and goes to live with his seal wife in the San Diego Zoo, being hugged by muggles all day long.

Haha, these are funny. Mine would have to be Draco and Ginny all lovey-dovey at Hogwarts and the trio, the Malfoys, and the Weasleys would all be perfectly fine w/ it, and they all live happily ever after. Some people may like that, I'm not flaming anyone , I am just sayoing my opinion.

Ginny decides that she is madly in love with Draco and kidnaps him.....(actually, that could have potential)

Argh, my mind has gone blank of random things. Maybe Draco and Ginny get secretly married at Hogwarts and have lots of children....

*slaps forehead* I'll think of something better soon....

I love those! I gotta think of some. *runs off to think of some*

Thread revival time!

DH may have sunk our ship in terms of canon, but we can still think of ridiculous ways in how D/G happens, or even cases you've seen happen in fanfiction.

One I saw that made me laugh was Draco is ordered to make Ginny fall in love with him, and he only has a week to do it (by Voldemort nonetheless). If you don't call that terribly OOC (for all parties) then I don't know what is.

LOL! hermione'sfrog - 'blubber nuggets' thats disgustingly funny!!

here's mine.

Draco & Ginny become gardeners, they fall in love with eah other while smelling the same rose, fall down a rabbit hole (forgotten the name), end up making lots of little corss-breeds of humans and rabbits (because of the rabbit-ness of the hole) and then they live down there forever.

my head hurts, it's too early to actually think of a decent one. lol

Hahha, still made me crack up.

Draco has a secret fascination with ballet and starts performing swan lake (on a frozen lake no less). He sees a swan (who just happens to be Ginny, cursed by an evil spell), and he uses his ballet to break the spell. They of course then fall in love.

...... somehow that sounded funnier in my head.

Draco in tights in the dead of winter is disturbing.

If anyone can pull of tights in winter it's Draco. *giggles like mad*

The odds that Draco would dress himself up in a cheerleader outfit in Gryffindor colors to cheer Ginny on during a Quidditch match between Gryffindor vs Slytherin to prove his undying devotion to her by risking his life at the hands of his fellow team mates, ron and Snape, are good right?

To picture Draco in a cheerleader's mini skirt makes me so that I can't stop laughing....

Hahahhahahahaha, now that is great!

I have some wonderful images right now that could put a smile on my face for days.

One day, Ginny develops a fascination with the Latin language; she decides to start a club at Hogwarts. Sadly, the only person who joins is Draco. They decide to do their latinage together and end up falling deleriously in love and move to Cambridge.

Draco does macho gymnastics out on the floor of the quidditch pitch, one day falls over after doing a triple somersault with a handstand at the end, and hurts his leg. Ginny walks past after playing some tunes on her piano. sees that Draco's hurt, plays him a tune on her portable piano and he suddenly finds that his leg is all better agian. them two fall in love and they eventually take over the world, Draco being an amazing macho gymnast and Ginny playing him the songs for him to do his routines to.

oh i am so good! rofl

hahahahhaa, macho gymnastics. I have this crazy vision of Draco wearing grey lyotards flipping about, while Ginny wanders around wearing one of those piano ties and playing rag time music on a little white piano. Crazy!

Draco becomes a tree lover and wants to save the trees. He has a particular fascination with this one tree that has red leaves. It turns out that Ginny was actually transformed into a tree by a crazy witch, and she IS the tree *gasp*

One day he kisses the tree and it turns into Ginny, and then they live happily ever after in their tree-hugging forest.

Oooh i like the tree hugging thing. good idea!

i seriously think that stories should be made out of all of these ideas. it would be so funny!

Hahha, maybe we could do that for a challenge? We pick our favourite 'yeah rights' and write a story for it. It could be fun.

Hear, hear!

Okay, if I remember I will set that up. In the mean, start looking through the thread for some 'yeah rights' you might be interested in writing about.

If we all decide on a few favourites (say three) we could make it a mini comp type thing with three ficlets (not really for prizes, but hey, you can get the prestige in winning, )

Just something to think about anyway.

One more: Draco discovers that his real father is actually a Muggle. He creates the alias of Half-Blood Prince and starts vandalizing school property. Worries are high. Ginny gets onto the hall patrol. One day she finally finds the commitor of the violence. In the shadows, D/G look at eachother without seeing, fall in love and run off to Muggle London. Eventually Ginny gets look at Draco's face; kills self. Draco does same.

LOL^

That's all I can say to that.

One more thing: Ginny Weasley has tried every dating service possible... except PurebloodSingles.co.uk. Gets put with Draco. Do the math.

Haha, that one is great.

Oh, don't forget to vote for your favourite here.

Hrm, well I think the chances of Ginny asking Draco on a date because she has been dared to by Hermione, and Draco actually accepting are rather slim...

Draco and Ginny join the same astrological club at Hogwarts during DH. End up finding eachother, but always meet in semi-darkness and so are never entirely aware of eachother's identities. Meet to snog every month under the light of the silver moon. Relationship ends after easter hols.

That would depress me if that actually happened!

Me too. Anything where they don't stay together is depressing.

Okay, so Draco gets drunk and kidnaps Ginny. Instead of being annoyed, Ginny is more than delighted, forces him to go back to her home with her so she can rescue him from his bad ways, and ends up falling in love with him (and he with her) after some rather odd situations and events.

Oh wait, that's one of my fanfics

What about if they decided to become the internet? Wait that made more sense in my head. Ignore please

*thinks*

Oh oh oh I have a good one. What if Draco was a baker *get those minds out of the gutter of him wearing just an apron* and decided to make a fluffy pink cake with house elf decorating the cake and then bake it in the oven and goes over to Ron and gives him a sloppy kiss on the cheek and gets down on his knees 'Ronald Weasley will you - allow me to - marry GINERVA WEASLEY'? and Ron starts bawling because he's so overjoyed which then Draco starts bawling. Then Ginny comes in wearing black leather and says 'Come and get me sweet thang' and *yes get those heads in the gutter* vanishes all but his apron Innocence.

ROFL

Hana, you wicked, wicked person. My mind will always be stuck in the gutter now.

Too tired to think of a new impossibility.

Doing my job right then I'm not *that* wick - Ok maybe I am just slightly wicked Sweetheart, you SERIOUSLY need some sleep, and some R&R and SLEEP, and a HOLIDAY!!! Crash for a bit k?

Lol, it's only 6:23pm here, and I'm still trying to finish this short story. If I don't get as much possible done today I am going to be an emotional wreck next week.

Oh, and my addition for this thread is that Ginny goes on one of those 'blind date' shows and of course chooses Draco (the guy behind door number three). Then they fall in love and have lots of babies.

Oh poor sweetie *begs Time to hurry it's butt up* Sorry! Am I distracting you from your work? Try your hardest with the work, try and relax and breathe. Any yummy food laying around the house? Some nice Yoghurt, or chilled juices are healthy and work well to calm me down

Now my contribution: You just put images of a Las Vegas show in my head, D/G Style. Which then led me to imagining Draco as Chuck Bass, and Ginny as Blair Waldorf. Which - Oh My GOD - realization that they would fit perfectly in those roles. OHGOD, perfectly. GAH. I'm having serious brainstorm here. Yes, yes, Serena as Hermione *well you know what I mean* Nate Harry, ... *sputters out*